Adventures In Parodyverse: Hysterical Realm Part 2...Newly Edited! Read it again!

Previously:
Yuki gets to meet Hatman after working on yet another case, and she digs up his Epitome file. The Manga Shoggoth leaves Liu Xi with Al B and Yuki while he and Ebony go shopping for anime.

Links:
Hysterical Realm Part 1

Adventures In Parodyverse - Hysterical Realm Part 2

    "You are very kind," Liu Xi thanked Al B as he cleared space on the couch for the Chinese teen to sit.

    He and Yuki had been asked by the Manga Shoggoth, through Ebony, to keep an eye on the teen while the two of them went shopping for anime.

    "No problem," Al replied. He waited for the teen to sit.

    "How come you're dressed like that?" Yuki asked Liu Xi, referring to the silken white oversized shirt with a red emblem on the chest, white pants, and moccasin-like white shoes. "It's beautiful, but a little formal, don't you think?"

    "She make me this in six color," Liu Xi replied, referring to Ebony. "I am honored to wear it. When I found in Manga-town I wear very simple clothing."

    "Six colors isn't bad," Yuki mused to herself.

    "What she means is," Al B added, "with all due respect to Ebony, you're going to stand out a bit in civilian society dressed like that. You need something that's lower profile." He frowned when he heard a knock on the door.

    "Like what I'm wearing." Yuki indicated to the black jeans and white shirt and sneakers she wore.

    "Harper," a male voice said once the door was open. Yuki heard the sound of Al B being pushed into the door, simply because he was in the way of Mr. Epitome's entrance into the multipurpose living room and lab of Al B Harper's cabin.

    Before he was inside the room, Yuki quickly vanished through the back door of the cabin.

    "Where is she?" Epitome asked Al B. He squinted and looked through the walls of the cabin. Nobody was there.

    "Where is who?" Al B asked.

    "Don't even think about playing dumb," Epitome warned him. "Ms Shiro is around here somewhere. I'm not leaving until she explains to me why she deleted my files."

    "It wasn't her." Al B swallowed hard and kept his face straight as he slowly said, "It was...me. I deleted them. If you want to arrest someone it's going to have to be me."

    Epitome pointed a threatening finger at Al B Harper and took in a deep breath. But then he let out a sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. "It's not worth arresting you. Sir Mumphrey would just find a way to get you out in an hour, and then have me reprimanded. You're lucky you have him watching your back."

    Just as Epitome was about to leave he noticed a Chinese teenager sitting on Al B Harper's couch. "You're harboring an illegal?"

    "She's an applicant for asylum," Al B told him. As he spoke, Yuki took note of what he said from where she was hiding and adjusted the State Department records accordingly.

    Epitome looked closely at the Chinese teen sitting on the couch and asked, "Who is this, and where is she from?"

    "Liu Xi Xian," Al B answered. "The Shoggoth and Ebony asked us to watch her for a while, so you're better off not asking too much."

    "I see." Epitome approached the teen and said, "Hello."

    "Hi," Liu Xi replied. She stared at Epitome for a moment, and then asked, "You have a dog?"

    "How did you know?" Epitome asked.

    Liu Xi reached up and plucked a hair off of his uniform shirt, and held it out to him.

    "Oh." He knelt next to the couch. "Are you one of those kids the Shoggoth rescues from time to time?"

    Liu Xi nodded, but said no more.

    "Could you please tell him to stop sneaking illegal immigrants into this country?" Epitome asked.

    The teen frowned. "Shoggoth not sneak me into country. American with money and power like you did. Shoggoth save me after I run away from American."

    Al B tried his best not to laugh. Epitome being upstaged by a teenager just made his day.

    "What's this American's name?" Epitome asked, trying to recapture the mantle of a hero.

    "I don't know," Liu Xi replied. "He send idiot to pick me up. He no tell me name either."

    This time, Al B couldn't help snickering. He earned an angry stare from Epitome.

    "Why has the Shoggoth taken an interest in you?" Epitome asked.

    "He tell me I am smart," Liu Xi replied. "And I deserve to...find potential."

    "Hmm." Epitome stood when he realized he was just wasting his time. He looked at Al B. "Keep out of trouble," he said, before leaving suddenly and slamming the door behind him.

    "Shoggoth also say not to trust anyone to know me," Liu Xi added after Epitome was gone.

    "The Shoggoth is very smart," Yuki said, suddenly present in the living room again. She sat down calmly on the couch next to Liu Xi.

    "Where were you hiding?" Al B asked.

    "Next to the air conditioner in the attic. I guess I'm lucky he didn't think to look up." She smiled and added, "Probably because some nice arch scientist distracted him."

    Al smiled, feeling satisfied with himself for a moment.

    Yuki stood slowly, and stretched. "I need to go to the bank. Want to come along?"

    "Me?" Al asked. He pointed to Liu Xi. "What about her?"

    "I meant both of you," Yuki replied. "Besides, we can find her some nice civilian clothing so she'll fit in."

    "Fit in?" Liu Xi asked.

    "Yes," Yuki responded. "So people don't stare when you're out in public. Your need something lower profile."

    "I have clothing like that." She pointed at Yuki. "I wear when Ebony take me in public." She held out her hands, and a bundle of clothing appeared in them. "Where may I change?"

    Yuki pointed to a bathroom off the corner of the living room, and watched Liu Xi disappear inside and close the door.

    "Is this a smart idea?" Al B asked Yuki. "We could get into trouble. We could run into a super-villain, or worse, the Lair Legion."

    Yuki shrugged. "We'll take my car and go straight downtown. What could possibly go wrong?"

---

    'Famous last words,' Al B Harper pondered the last thing Yuki said before they left his cabin as he stood in line at the bank, his hands raised above his head. Of course the bank was being robbed. By a lame new supervillain calling himself Grand Entrance, who wore a long fur-lined cape and carried an array of weapons.

    "Who is this--" Liu Xi started to say, followed by a paused while she tried to think of the right English word. "--Clown?" she finally finished.

    Grand Entrance wheeled around suddenly, abruptly noticing the Chinese teen's presence. He pointed the portable anti-aircraft missile he carried directly at her and approached. Al B Harper began shaking. "Did you just call me a clown, little girl?"

    He frowned a moment later when his reply was a string of Chinese curse words he didn't understand. An older Chinese customer in the bank gave away their meaning, in a sense, by gasping at the sound of those words.

    "You're going to die first!" Grand Entrance announced. He tried to grab ahold of Liu Xi's shirt...but then he suddenly stumbled back. "No--" he whispered. "Stay away." He gasped and added, "God no!" in a near scream, and tripped as he tried to hastily leave the bank.

    Al B harper turned to see what terrified Grand Entrance so. He let out an involuntary high-pitched scream when he realized who was behind him. The Chain Knight, and his entire posse of Hellraisers. Yuki cursed in English when she realized the same thing.

    "No," Liu Xi reassured Al B. She seemed completely relaxed, and when he looked up again the Hellraisers were gone. "I protect myself with...fake vision."

    "An illusion?" Yuki asked, still breathing heavily from the shock.

    Liu Xi nodded. "I remember Hellraiser from picture Ebony show me."

    Al B was still pale, trying to catch his breath. "Please warn me next time, would you? I almost had a heart attack."

    "Yeah, well, you'll have another." Yuki turned and headed toward the door. "I'm going after him."

    "What...? Yuki, wait!" Al B shook his head and looked at Liu Xi as he mumbled. "She's going to get hurt, and I'll be up all night repairing her."

    Without speaking a word, Liu Xi gave Al the wireless Virtual Vision goggles and headset he usually used to aid and keep track of Yuki as she went on missions.

    "Where did you get that?" Al B asked. "Did you just zap it here from my cabin?"

    She shook her head. "I take it on way out. Thought you might need it."


---

    Yuki raced full speed down the street, passing cars travelling the 25 mph speed limit. The wind sent her hair in a purple cascade behind her as she fought to rapidly catch up to Grand Entrance, who had a good five-minute head start running away.

    She caught up to him rapidly and nearly passed him before she spread out her feet in front of her, pushing the rubber soles of her shoes to their limit to bring her to a stop. It left a pale grey streak of rubber on the pavement.

    And as she turned around, Grand Entrance had just caught up to her. Before he had a change to react, she raised an arm and clotheslined him, causing him to flip over backwards and land on his back. His many weapons scattered from behind his cape...

    ...including several hand grenades. Yuki rapidly surveyed all of the explosives electronically, and much to her relief, discovered that none of them had been activated yet.

    "How the hell did you...?" Grand Entrance asked, confused at how she managed to catch him so quickly. He then became angry as he began to sit up. "Bitch! You'll die for this!" He reached for one of his several assault rifles.

    They heard a door open nearby, and hard-soled shoes approaching. Six men dressed in Zoot Suits and carrying tommy guns approached and stood over Grand Entrance. The leader, named Frankie, was smoking a cigar as he looked over the situation.

    "My, my," Frankie told his audience as he looked over the array of weapons scattered around, "Seems we have a gifted amateur." He motioned to two of his Zoot Suited men. "Stand him up."

    "He just tried to rob a bank," Yuki piped up. "The police will likely be here soon."

    "Or perhaps I might be here sooner," Hatman announced as he gently landed on the pavement behind Yuki, and removed his Blue Jays cap. He stared intently at Frankie and the Zoot Suit Gang. "Are you intending to harm this suspect?"

    "No." Frankie smiled calmly. "We're just average joe citizen, lending a helpin' hand."

    Hatman frowned. "Why would average joe citizen need a tommy gun?"

    Frankie shrugged. "Streets aren't safe here. A man's gotta protect himself. Second amendment. Look it up." With that, he and his gang began quietly filing back into the club.

    "Wasn't that the Zoot Suit Gang?" Hatman asked Yuki.

    She nodded. "Don't bother with them. They extort protection money, but they also usually keep the weirdos like this guy--" she pointed at Grand Entrance, "--out of the neighborhood."

    "But they're criminals too," Hatman pointed out.

    Yuki shrugged and rolled her eyes. "This city is filled with criminals. Who has the time to deal with them all?"

    "There you are, partner!"

    Hatman cringed as he heard the words of a dear friend, yet someone he really didn't want to see at that exact moment. Nevertheless, CrazySugarFreakBoy! squeezed his way between Hatman and Yuki.

    "No," Hatman pre-emptively shot at CSFB!

    "Oh, yeah," CSFB! replied enthusiastically. "This is so going to happen."

    "No!" Hatman repeated, more insistently.

    "Your name is...?" CSFB! asked Yuki.

    "Yuki Shiro," she replied.

    "Dammit," Hatman mumbled to himself.

    "Are you dating anyone?" CSFB! asked, much to the annoyance of Hatman. "Hatman here is very lonely. He doesn't get out much. Besides, if you say 'yes' then--"

    "I'll go to dinner with him," Yuki said.

    "Yay!" CSFB! bounded nearly twice his height into the air. When he landed, he shook Hatman. "It's a date! I told it was going to happen!" With that, he raced down the street, yelling excitedly, causing people to stare at him in confusion as he passed.

    Hatman gave Yuki a sorrowful, defeated look. But he brightened up at what she said next.

    "It's not a date," she told him. "I worded it very carefully. I agreed to have dinner so he'd leave you alone."

    He seemed relieved at that. "Thank you," he whispered. "He's a great partner, but he can be a little..."

    "Irrepressible?" Yuki asked.

    "Yeah." He shrugged. "I guess I'll see you at dinner?"

    "Sure." Yuki nodded. She looked around Hatman when she noticed Liu Xi and Al B approaching. "Jay, you know Al B...and this is Liu Xi Xian. We're looking after her for Ebony."

    "Ebony? The Manga Shoggoth's High Priestess?" Hatman shivered.

    "She not so bad," Liu Xi told Hatman. "She have very sweet side."

    "I haven't seen it yet," Hatman told her. "Nice to meet you, though."

    "If you mention her, make sure CSFB! knows she's underage," Al B pointed out.

    "Oh, definitely." Hatman laughed. "I'll see you around, Yuki. I have...you know." He pointed at the now sulking Grand Entrance.

    "Nice to meet you again." Yuki nodded and watch Hatman leave, dragging Grand Entrance and the entire arsenal of weapons with him courtesy of a U.S. Army Reserve ballcap.

TO BE CONTINUED SOON!

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
-- Liu Xi Xian is an original design by Jason Froikin

Post By Anime Jason Sat Jan 08, 2005 at 11:49:34 am EST	Subject Adventures In Parodyverse: Hysterical Realm Part 2...Newly Edited! Read it again!

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